I need a source of inspiration and motivation to get me through the rest of the semester. Sometimes, I just feel like giving up and moving down to Orlando already…
But then I look at the picture of that great, big castle and think about my passion for education. Some day, this hard work and that stupid, fuckin’ piece of paper we call a “Bachelor’s Degree” will be all worth the trouble…
So… I think I’m going to start using this tumblr thing to post my random artwork and doodlings. I’ll still post funny things I find on here and the net, but I’ve just found a new use for tumblr. Yay :)
#1 - Never stare a stripper in the eyes. She’ll drain you financially.
#2 - Tip the high-school-friend-turned-stripper well. She’ll ask you how your mom is. That, and she may be supporting her and her son with stripper salary.
#3 - Strippers are people too, so treat them with respect.
#4 - Strippers are people too, so if she ignores you when you tell her you’re broke, call her a “bitch” under your breath and continue drinking.
#5 - You belong in community and public service if you are more concerned as to where her bruises came from, rather than her boobies poppin’ out. That, and you may not necessarily be the straightest guy around… Just sayin’.
#6 - Never sit at the bar to watch a strip show. They’ll beg you even more. Best thing to do would be to congregate in the middle of the seating area. That way, strippers will have to climb over chairs and seat to get at you… It’s too much work for them.
#7 - Your friends will love you even more if you tweet from the strip club, so tweet away.
#8 - Try to avoid wearing glasses. The strippers will just dirty them with their oily bodies and sweaty boobs.
#9 - If a stripper offers you a $5 lapdance, it’s best to take the offer. This may only come around once in a lifetime.’
#10 - Scope all the strippers and pick out the most friendly one. Start small chitchat with her and make someone’s day a little better.
#11 - Always bring cash beforehand. ATM fees are outrageous; I had to pay $10 to take money out for the strip club’s ATM.
#12 - End the night with a trip to the nearest 24 Hour Porn Shop. It’ll make you feel less dirty.
Life Lessons Learned from a Strip Club, Edwin H. 11/01/10